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Last night I was searching movies on surf the channel and just happened to come by this great piece of art. I mean I'm sure every guy can relate to how Jay Brooks is feeling... white girls are lame.The beginning starts off with white girls reading Jay's breakup notes. It's pretty awesome to watch all these extremely pale girls with glasses and outfits from Forever 21 or Anthropologie in tears. Jay is afraid of commitment, he's immature, and he's a badass graphic novelist. Oh man.So basically he comes up with this idea for 'operation brown sugar'. Yeah that's right. OPERATION BROWN SUGAR. Jay ends up with this stupid girl named Catherine (who isn't even THAT black... Obama anyone???!!). She's got stupid dread weaves that are stupid colors. The only good line in this movie is when he first meets her and says "Hey. I didn't know black girls could grow blue hair!" Then they get in a fight or something... You know how those romantic comedies go.This movie attempted to be politically edgey, but it wasn't very good at that. Plus he didn't even get a hot black girl. I'd rather watch Hitch.$$
Some indie films go out of their way to be over-dramatic and quirky. The Go-Getter is no exception.
After the death of his mother, Mercer (Lou Taylor Pucci) decides he needs to find his estranged brother. He steals a car from Kate (the always delicious Zooey Deschanel) and hits the road on a "trip" through places his brother has been or thought to be. On the way he meets up Joelly(Jena Malone) a girl he went to middle school with who is a shitty person, but very hot. Also during this time he falls in love with Kate whom he has been talking to on her cellphone that she had in the car he stole. Since Zooey Deschanel so far can only play uber liberated characters, she is fully understanding of his situation and finds him endearing.
I enjoyed this movie, even though its regurgitated indie garbage. Most likely because I like watching Zooey Deschanel be typecast once again, and also seeing most of Jena Malone's backside was pretty rad.
$$
What can I say about this movie? I have no idea, because I just woke up and don't remember watching this movie at all. There is a girl laying next to me covered in vomit and I don't think she's breathing. I think I pissed my pants and I can't tell if the vomit on my shirt and face is hers or mine. Anyways, I woke up with this movie in my dvd player(is this even my house). Which means I'm pretty sure I watched this movie last night, but I can't remember a thing. The dvd menu is fucking awesome though, there is this magic carpet flying all over this place and some fucking sweeeeet music looping every 15 seconds. There are random scenes that play in the menu and from what I can tell it's a cartoon. Not bad, not bad, I've seen better dvd menus in my time though.
Uhhh, lets see... The back of the dvd case says it's a magical journey of a beggar(Aladdin voiced by samuel l jackson, I think) who finds a lamp. Apparently it's not just any old lamp, it's a magical lamp that if you rub the right way, robin williams cums out(haha, see what I did there, genius). Anywho, the girl that I thought was dead has just woken up and is asking about some payment... I think for the dvd, but I can't be sure as there is blood all over my boxers and from her crotch.
Anyways, the dvd menu is pretty solid, but I'm not sure if it's TAMP material. With that said, the movie must have been amazing from all the empty bottles of booze laying around my parents basement(where I live) and all the cocaine splatter everywhere. So the movie gets a $$$$$, but the menu gets a disappointing $$.
Mix one part Heathers, one part American Pimp, and top it off with a shot of the Babysitters Club, and you get, ummmm "The Babysitters". The directoral debut by writer-director David Ross.
The Babysitters stars newcomer Katherine Waterston as Amy. Amy is a smart, mousy high school senior just trying to make extra money for college by doing the normal high school girl job. Madame/Prostitute, by way of babysitting. She starts out innocent enough until having an affair with the married father(the once important John Leguizamo) of the child she is watching. His guilt everytime he commits statch(new term for statuatory rape, get used to it) leads him to paying Amy for "babysitting". She then gets the brilliant idea to hire a fleet of young girls and becomes the Heidi Fleiss of high school.
I thought this movie was enjoyable because it was short. If this was longer than 90 minutes I probably wouldnt score it as high as I am. It was well acted and had some sweet pimp-ette smack down moments while still remaining dramatic.
check it out on dvd.
$$$
Angelina Jolie and Morgan Freeman lead a Fraternity of Assassains who can curve bullets and heal from severe injuries in hours instead of days who take in their newest member, a dorky loser. OK so who doesn't dream of that happening to them? This ridiculous adaptation of a comic I've never read, by that Russian guy, Timur something really Russian, that directed Night Watch (which I saw, and liked) and Day Watch (which I haven't scene yet), is a non stop thrill ride that is pure fun. Its stupid, borderline retarded, but I really enjoyed the insane action sequences, and they did attempt to explain things so that it was half way plausible. Morgan Freeman says the F word a few times, which for some reason seems notable. There's lots of twists and turns that I don't want to spoil so I won't go much further into it. This would be a great Totally Awesome Movie Party with something like Crank. I give it a $$$$, definitely rent it when it hits DVD.
Finally, a really good killer crocodile movie!!! It only took, what, 20 tries, before some one actually got it right. The man who got it right is Wolf Creek director, Greg McLean. I had a hate/love relationship with Wolf Creek, I hated the pointless first half of the movie, and I loved the totally awesome second half of the movie. Rogue takes a little while to get going as well, but this time we're treated to gorgeous shots of the Australian Outback while we get to know our cast of characters. Rogue is the tale of a tourist boat ride through the Outback gone wrong. We've got our mysterious man, who looks a lot like Luke Perry, a terminally ill mother, her teenage daughter, and the jackass Dad, a sad middle aged man who's back story is a nice little reveal later in the movie, a douchebag photographer, the female captain, etc. A lot of this movie is a touching blow job to Jaws. If you've watched Jaws 50 times like I have you'll recognize many of the shots when it comes to our big bad salt water croc. From the point of view, underwater shots, to even a swap out of yellow inflatible life preservers for the famous yellow barrells on the Orca. Its obvious it wasn't done as a rip off, but an homage the greatest creature feature of all time. The croc effects are by far the best ever done, which doesn't mean they still don't look fake at times, but its scary, fast, menacing, and most importantly behaves as a croc would. DEATH ROLLS! McLean also did a nice job of holding off on showing the croc for the most part; makes it scarier that way. The nature shots could be used for a documentary, they're that pretty. So this movie works on a couple of different levels. One thing it isn't, is gory. Its toted as UNRATED WITH BLOOD DRIPPING ALL OVER THE FREAKIN' PLACE, yeah everywhere, but the movie itself. There's a couple grusome bits at the end, but its hardly anything to advertise the way they did. Its a cheap ploy, but hopefully it'll get more people to watch this awesome film, because it doesn't disappoint. Not totally awesome, but a $$$$ for sure!
This movie is kind of gross. A father having sex with his daughter. A jock who masturbates constantly and wonders if his penis is small, and last but not least, Edie Falco nude(actually the body isn't bad).
The story focuses on Dot played by Camilla Belle (the green eyed girl from 10,000 BC aka the worst movie of 2008). Dot is recently orphaned when her deaf father is hit by a car. She then goes to live with her daughter fucking godfather and pill popping godmother. Dot has been pretending to be deaf/mute since she was 7. She is socially awkward and stares a lot. When her new daddy banger sister, played by Elisha Cuthbert stumbles upon her secret, she starts revealing her own since Dot is deaf, right?
For what I what consider a B-Movie and not an indie, I guess this wasnt too bad. Camilla Belle is at her best when she isn't speaking. The father-daughter love affair was super creepy and kept me cringing.
i wouldnt say you should rent this, maybe just watch it on Cinemax or whatever
$$
With the hype from the Corey's reality show and the 20th Anniversary Edition dvd, we finally get a sequel to Lost Boys. Unfortunately this is it. Basically what they did was copy the original story, but add another sibling as a possible vampire. To help keep the story even more familiar they recruited Keifer Sutherland's retarded half brother to play the head vampire. His ability to spew out mumbled dialogue is not much different than when Marlon Brando played Don Vito Corleone, except Angus Sutherland is a horrible actor.
What saves this movie truly was the gore, and the Core. Corey that is, Corey Feldman, who reprises his role as vampire hunter Edgar Frog. His performance was so over the top, that if they would have focused the movie about him it would have made this film Totally Awesome. Look for Corey Haim, but not too hard.
I give this movie
$$
but I would suggest watching it for pure nostalgia
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